Domestic Violence. Abuse. Church Teachings.
It is important to be informed. To do our research. To educate ourselves, to learn, to grow, to seek to become even healthier than we already are. I hope that the resources shared here can help you start (or continue) down the road of digging deeper in the Word for yourself, to better both yourself and the world around you. Remember, just because something claims to be religious doesn’t make it safe or in line with the Bible. If a teaching is causing harm to some people, it’s wise to evaluate it and see if culture rather than the Bible was actually being taught.
* No guarantee can be made regarding the absolute safeness of these sites or other articles published by site authors, though care was taken not to include in this list any known-at-the-time harmful sites, authors, or organizations.
A Voice for the Voiceless – Click picture to view original sermon. For a site not tied to a church and that is only the sermon itself, click here.
End It Now is a Seventh-day Adventist global initiative to raise awareness and advocate for the end of all violence around the world. Please feel free to explore the whole website.
Click the arrows to reveal links.
Domestic Violence Statistics and Information – Curious to know more about the actual stats on this? Here’s a few places to get you started.
Violence against women – World Health Organization
Being strangled even once increases a woman’s chances of being killed later by 800% – please take it seriously: Non-Fatal Strangulations Point To Future Homicides. | Officer
United Nations – Worldwide 2023 Data
UN WOMEN – Facts and figures: Ending violence against women
Pregnant women at risk – https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2022-10-20/homicide-a-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-u-s-women
How should the church react to known abusers? Do Sex Offenders Belong in Church With Your Kids? 7 Myths Every Church Leader Needs to Know
SDA Church vs General Population Study 2006 referenced in Safeguarding Peace.
Bathsheba – adultery? or rape? A few places to help you get started on your own research.
Dr. Davidson’s paper with 18 reasons supporting the idea of Bathsheba as a victim, and not as a willing participant: 06Davidson-Bathsheba06-2.pdf
A Sympathetic Look at Bathsheba – Marg Mowczko
David and Bathsheba | My Only Comfort
What You Need to Know About Bathsheba | The Junia Project
Was Lemuel actually King Solomon? We don’t know for sure, but Jewish tradition says he was. Many believe Solomon to be the author of Proverbs, and that there’s a good chance it was another name for him or a fabled character built after him. Others believe it could have been King Hezekiah. The Bible is not definitive on this.
HELP! If you suspect you or someone you love may be a victim of domestic violence or intimate partner abuse, here are a few links to help you figure out if it really is abuse, where to turn, and some possible next steps.
Domestic Violence Support | National Domestic Violence Hotline
Is This Abuse? Mini-course on how to spot red flags. http://ideservetoknow.com/isthisabuse
Enditnow Resource page – Links to practical and informative sites are towards the bottom, including two links aimed specifically for men who are victims of domestic violence.
Is it really abuse? www.emotionalabusequiz.com
Am I actually in physical danger? How much danger? Hint – most women grossly underestimate the potential for physical harm. Please take the 20 question assessment to understand your situation better: Danger Assessment
Divorce – Won’t God be mad? Won’t it hurt the kids? Is there ever a time when it is appropriate? Is someone you love getting a divorce and you’re worried about what this means for their salvation?
What does the Bible say? Gretchen Baskerville, author of Lifesaving Divorce, takes a very biblical look at what exactly the Bible says and doesn’t say about divorce. You can read her book, or check out this and other articles on her site: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/what-is-a-life-saving-divorce/
What about the kids? https://lifesavingdivorce.com/effect
Resources – Safe or Harmful Websites and Books. Feel free to click around on these sites beyond the page linked here. Remember that not every teaching causes harm to every person, but we need to be aware of which ones have the potential to do damage, and which aren’t as biblically correct as we may have once been taught.
Harmful Books – Unfortunately, many Christian books, especially on relationships, actually cause more harm to us or our children than help. Have you read any of these? (Be sure to click through the multiple pages.) https://baremarriage.com/tag/onesheet/
A resource list separated out into categories such as marriage, addictions, healing, and children, including a list of “dumpster fire” books to avoid: Sarah McDugal | WILD’s Amazon Page
A resource list separated out into categories such as healthy marriages, tough marriages, parenting, and including a “blacklist” of harmful resources: Bare Marriage’s Amazon Page
A resource list by Andrew J Bauman focused on healing and trauma. Andrew’s emphasis is on supporting men. https://andrewjbauman.com/resource-list/
Bare Marriage – Sheila started out helping women improve their marriages and intimacy, but quickly realized there was an underlying problem that was much bigger than two individuals just not communicating well. She now shares her passion for marriage both by promoting the positive things that have worked for many couples, and by calling out the harmful teachings that have destroyed intimacy for so many unsuspecting couples.
Andrew Bauman: The Healthy Man – A website and blog geared for men who want to be healthy and safe.
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/blog – a great resource for women struggling with betrayal trauma, and those with children and dealing with custody issues.
Psalm 82 Initiative – Calling civil and religious leaders to recognize and respond to abuse more effectively.
Articles – Diane Langberg – Diane is one of the leading voices in believing and defending victims, promoting the love and justice of Jesus, and calling out those who cause harm.
Marg Mowczko – Here you’ll find articles about the mutuality and equality of men and women in Christian marriage and ministry, as well as articles on women in the Bible and in the early church.
The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman – Written for men, this is a book every man, and every parent of boys should read. “Men today are starved for sexual formation. They’ve been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate–instead of struggle against–the gift of sexual desire.”
Recovering From Purity Culture by Dr. Camden Morgante – Drawing on historical and psychological research, her own personal experience, and therapy case studies, Dr. Camden Morgante tackles what comes next in reclaiming our sexuality from the harmful teachings so many evangelical Christians grew up believing. With great compassion and insight, Dr. Camden
· exposes five myths of purity culture and their effects on individuals and relationships
· offers proven therapy techniques to replace harmful lies with healing truth
· provides strategies to overcome shame in the mind and body
· explores the connection between purity culture, trauma, and faith deconstruction
· helps the hurting reconstruct their faith with peace and acceptance
Thank you for joining me here! Much of my blog is personal, a way to keep friends and family updated on some of my life happenings and mostly a way to share my writing with those who want to read it. You’re welcome to look around, and I’m always happy for people to reach out via email – be sure to remove all spaces: waitingwalk @ gmail . com
The Waiting Walk 