The Waiting Walk

I don’t consider myself an overly excitable person. But you should have seen me squealing in the classroom the other morning in worship. People, one of my fifth graders had this epiphany and embraced this irony that never even crossed my mind until I was in my 30s. Late 30s, probably.

I’m going to call her Aurora. That’s my name for any girl I tell a story about. Beautiful name, right?

So I feel like fifth grade is a really pivotal year for kids. (To be fair, I’d probably say that about whatever grade I’m teaching, lol, but fifth grade really has so much potential to be life changing…) These guys are usually beginning the year pre-puberty or barely beginning to feel its effects. They’re still young enough that they think I’m cool (yes, this is one of the reasons I love this grade). They’re not so overwhelmed with hormones that all logic is lost (until about May when I start to question my sanity and my career choice). But, they are old enough that I can actually hold intelligent discussions with them. (OK, kindergarteners also have very intelligent discussions, which also warm my heart, but not about the kind of stuff that really lights my fire!) We can ask big questions in 5th grade and discuss big answers. We can explore and dig into things that the younger kids can’t yet, and the older ones feel the need to act like they couldn’t care less about. All that to say, I feel like fifth grade is a really great place for a child to start that transition from doing what his parents want him to do just because they want him to do it, over to doing what is right because it is right and making that relationship with Jesus a personal one that extends past any parental obligation. If I can help them start this journey, I feel my entire year has been a success.

So I like to cover as much of the Bible as I can with my 5th graders. So many of them don’t really know the stories, even if they’ve gone to church their whole lives. We start in Genesis and usually make it right to the end of the Gospels by the end of the year. We talk about each story, the lessons we can learn, the questions that don’t have easy answers, how we view God because of this story… all kinds of things.

Our story on this particular day was Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar. Yup, that’s like week three of school. We get to hit the crazy right up front. Helps us bond quickly…

In addition to journeying through the Bible stories with them, I am reading them a book series. It is Tales of the Exodus by Nicole Parker, and there are six (soon to be seven) books. Nicole starts in Egypt with a slave family, and walks us through Moses’ return, the plagues, the escape from Egypt, the journey in the Wilderness, and ends after the Sanctuary is built and explains the sacrificial system. I personally feel like I’ve learned a lot myself in reading this series, and it also deals with big huge questions, such as where is God when it hurts, why do bad things happen to good people, why does it seem the wicked prosper and God’s people are the ones who suffer, and how can a God of love ______ (you fill in the blank!). So many deep questions, but dealt with in such a way that it is super easy for my students to engage with and understand. On days we don’t get to read from these books, my students all complain and sigh and moan in disappointment. It warms my heart. (Pretty much the only time my heart is warmed by these sounds…)

So the story of the slaves in Egypt is very fresh in my students’ minds right now. But our story was about Hagar, and how Sarah was mean to her (to put it nicely) and how she felt so desperate that she ran away. I told my students that I absolutely LOVE the story of Hagar. So many bad things happen to her… (I said those two things together and my students all dropped their jaws – why would you love a story where bad things happen to someone, Ms. Fresse? Lol, could have worded that differently…) I love this story because EVEN THOUGH life is so hard for Hagar, God SEES her. I mean, she’s a slave. She’s required to become a “wife” to her (very old, as my students pointed out) master, and bear him a child whether she wanted to or not. Neither Abraham or Sarah see Hagar as a person. Her wife status is that in name only, she gets none of the privileges of ease and wealth that should come with it, she is still Sarah’s slave. She is far from home, and we don’t know why she was a slave to start with – did she choose it? Did her family sell her? Was she kidnapped?

She was an Egyptian slave far from home and no one sees her as a person.

And that’s when the magic happened. Aurora took in a huge breath of air, and looked like something had just hit her upside the head. She raised her hand as words started just falling out, slowly, because her brain was still wrapping itself around this thought.

“Wait – did you say she was EGYPTIAN?” I confirmed she was.

“So, she was Abraham’s slave, and she was Egyptian, but later, it will be the Egyptians that are the masters, and God’s people who are the slaves…?!”

And that’s when I squealed. “YES!!!! I LOVE that you just connected that. [Waving my arms, applauding her, air high fives] Isn’t that ironic?!?! Girl, you just hang on, because we are going to see even more connections as we go along between God’s people and Egypt…” She was glowing and still processing what this ironic twist here could mean.

I jumped back into the story, and I asked them if they remembered a time they had been with people, but felt like the people around them just didn’t “get” them? Like you’re alone in a crowd, like the things that matter to you don’t matter to the people you’re with… it’s just a very lonely place to be. To not be seen. To feel invisible. My students, all of them, even in fifth grade, knew exactly what feeling I was talking about.

This was Hagar. She was unseen.

But as she’s alone in a desert place, wondering if life is even worth living, or if she can possibly survive this desert even if she does want to, God appears. Isn’t this just so awesome? Hagar is a NOBODY as far as all our main characters are concerned. Abraham and Sarah do not see her as worth anything. Just a slave. Just an Egyptian. Just a woman. Just a girl. Just a surrogate. But not God. God SEES her. She is a valuable and loved child of His, pregnant now with a son who He promises to bless and make a great nation as well. She is important. She has a part in God’s plan. She is loved. She is SEEN. And she says so – “I have seen the God who sees me.”

Do you feel seen?

Know that God does see you, all the way down to your core. You are loved. You are valued. You have worth. As I watched Aurora, and Cosmo (that’s a good boy name, right?), and all their friends, I saw light bulbs flipping on, and hearts being lifted. Because even if everyone else thinks I’m a nobody, God doesn’t. God SEES me. Always and forever.

Stay tuned for more insights into our discussions in 5th grade!