The Waiting Walk

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held…

These words keep replaying in my head.  

I have never felt so ”held” before in my life. I have never been so willing to stop holding on, to just let go of the picture-perfect-dream version of my life, and to just be held by the one who died for me.  When you’ve been hurled over the edge of the cliff and life was completely out of control, but God caught you, that should change you.  I feel like it’s changed me. I feel so held by Him.

I don’t know what this “falling into place” life will look like even a short while from now, but I’m good with it. I trust Him. It’s a new feeling for me, this letting go, but it’s been quite freeing.  Carrying the weight of the world and my family’s future and survival… well, it was never my job to begin with so it’s no wonder I was exhausted. 

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

I guess the word is surrender. There is freedom in surrender. I’ve been chained by trying to control so many things for far too long. To be honest, the word “terrifying” is really my gut reaction to letting go of some of these things. Especially my children and their choices. I’m terrified a lot. But of the letting go part – not of their actual choices (most of the time anyway – if I’m being honest, there are occasional times when their choices at least set me on edge, and other times do actually terrify me). But as I let go and turn my precious ones over to Him, the terror subsides. The peace returns. My concerns get put into a much bigger picture perspective. There is freedom in surrender. Surrendering the problems that only God can handle back into the hands of God. I definitely do what I can and should to manage what IS mine to manage, but when I’m honest, that really isn’t a whole lot of things. I lay the rest down. I let it go. Surrender…

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

I’ve been there. The answers felt so far away. So, so far… But the day that I consciously, verbally, confessed that I was not as surrendered to God as I thought I had been, and that I needed Him to just take over, my life has changed. He’s on the throne.  I can let go… and watch it all falling into place. 

To be very clear, some of what I have been through was my life falling apart. It was. And truly, I don’t think that part had anything to do with God’s greater plan. I don’t think God wanted my family, my marriage to fall apart. I don’t. BUT, we serve a God great enough that even when sin has it’s way, God can take those pieces and put them together again in such a beautiful way that people who didn’t know what the original looked like might not even think that this beautiful creation is made from fragments of something else. They might assume that this beautiful situation has just always been your sweet lot in life. Oh if they only knew… but maybe I’ll just save that thought to write on another day.

For now, I am just content to be held. To say with Joseph “you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good….” It’s truly mind-blowing what horrific experiences some people can go through, and yet feel held by God through it all, and then turn around and let God use those very atrocities to paint a beautiful masterpiece with their life. Truly, this is a miracle.

Would you like to feel held by Him today? To lay down a few burdens that were never yours to pick up in the first place? To know that even if your life really is falling apart, it’s possible that He can still take those pieces and everything will actually fall into place soon? For me, the key was surrender. I invite you to try it. And be held… safe… loved…

Just Be Held

Song by Casting Crowns

“Just be Held” Lyrics:

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held